Saturday, April 11, 2015

Reunion


Hi guys! I still have a bunch of edits to make, but if anyone has some suggestions with any part of this piece, I'd really appreciate any kind of feedback! Thanks!
            
 
    It was only 1 o’clock and already Sarah had scored two of the best runway models in the industry for next month’s spring revealing show and heard rumors about getting her second promotion. This is going to be a good day.  Sarah leaned back on her office couch and popped on her headphones.

            “Don’t worry. About a thing. ‘Cause every little thing. Gonna be alright.”

            Sarah’s long, blonde hair swayed as she moved with the music and reached down toward the coffee table to pick up today’s paper that her assistant, Mark, had delivered earlier.

            “Two Dead in Fatal School Bus Crash.” Damn.

            Learn How to Salt Cure Fish with Chef Bobby Flay.” I think I’ll pass.

            She was almost done skimming the last couple pages when something made her do a double take.  She could see his warm, brown eyes even on black and white print.  Quickly scanning the rest of the paper, Sarah grabbed the nearby trash can as she read:

            Obituaries

            Oh my God. No. No. NO!  Memories flooded Sarah’s mind as she tried to forget what she just saw.

            It was her cousin’s wedding reception.  All over the twelve acres of fake green lawn were men in overly-expensive tuxedos and women in fancy, pastel-colored hats and pastel-colored cocktail dresses.  On each of the fifty round guest tables sat a $1,500 bottle of champagne and divine bouquet of perfectly matching purple and yellow orchids.  Go big or go home: it was the Hamilton way.

            It was hot, so hot that the eight foot tall frozen swans that once formed a heart with their curved necks turned into a headless, dripping blob of ice.  Sarah, in her electric blue strapless dress, sat with her arms crossed and rolled her eyes as women passing by fanned themselves.

            “Well you sure look like you’re having a good time!”

Sarah’s hazel eyes glared at his.  He flashed a glaringly white smile and she had no choice but to give one back.

            “Dance with me.”

            Before she could say no, he softly grabbed her hand and pulled her close to his chest, and they were dancing.  How is he getting away with this?

            “Oh. Hi. My name is Carson.  I’m best friends with one of the groomsmen.”

            Sarah was already up close and personal, so she analyzed every bit of him without shame.  His golden hair, displaying a sad attempt of a comb over, shined in the sunlight.  The orange and green plaid button down he had on didn’t match the shade of his tie.  Sarah could easily tell his suit was an off brand.  He was someone her parents would never approve of, which only gave her more reason to fall for him.

· · ·

“June 8th, 1992 – August 2, 2016

Carson Hayes, new resident of San Diego, passed away in a car accident on Friday.  He was the cherished older brother of Jackson and son of Linda and Bill, who are from Kentucky.  There will be a viewing at Brunner Funeral home on Monday at 6:00 P.M.”

           

            This can’t be right. Why would he move to California? He would have never left Kentucky!  Sarah heard a soft knock on the door, but she couldn’t stop gasping for breath as steady tears flowed down her tan skin.  Slowly, the door moved inward and Mark popped his head around. 

            “Jesus Sarah, what happened?”

            “Just.. Just please let me be for now. Cancel the rest of my appointments for today. I’m so.. Please go. I’m so sorry.”

            Mark reluctantly slid toward the door, keeping an eye on her the whole way.  After he walked out of the room, she could see him peer over his shoulder to get a glimpse of her through the window. Sarah closed the blinds and relocated to her desk to do some online searching.  His Facebook showed that he recently changed his current location to San Diego.

            She still couldn’t believe it, believe that he was here and believe that he is gone.  After some more searching, she found an address with his first, middle, and last name.  Keys were snatched off the desk and Sarah was out the door without stopping to explain to Mark or any of her coworkers.  Within 30 seconds she had already sprinted to her silver two-door Lexus and was pushing 95 MPH down the freeway. 

            “Make a left on Preston Street and your destination will be on your right” the GPS spoke.  Sarah crookedly parked on the pavement and ran up the steps of the cute front porch.  She noticed that this house was the only one in the neighborhood that even had a porch as she impatiently knocked on the door. Alright. Screw it. Reaching for the knob and giving it a slow twist, she pushed her way through and gasped.  No curtains, a tattered looking green Lazy Boy, and a yellow Labrador that came running with joy when he saw Sarah’s face. This was it.  Sarah’s chest felt hollow and she burst into tears.

            She wandered through the short, undecorated hallway to find herself in a bedroom.  It was definitely Carson’s; the camouflage comforter gave it away.  On his nightstand was a frame and photo Sarah had given him on their second year anniversary.  It was a shot of them at the beach during her spring break, covered in sand with goofy smiles on their faces.  Next to the frame, she saw a little, light blue box and a white envelope.

            Open the envelope first. Open the envelope first. Dammit.  Sarah picked up the box.  Had it not been for the bed, she would have collapsed right onto the ground.  Immediately, she recognized the sparkling diamond she held in her hand.  Turning the ring over, she looked at the inside of the golden band: “For Sarah, My Forever”.

            Sarah could hardly breathe at this point.  Her head was pounding and her body was quivering.  She slid a shaky finger underneath the white envelope, pulled out the crisp paper, unfolded, and read with tear-filled eyes.

           

 

            Sarah,

                        I tried to move on, and I tried damn hard.  But you are a drug I cannot quit.    You wanted to pursue your dream, and who would I be if I tried to stop you?  After you        moved to San Diego, I decided to give med school a shot, like you always told me to.  I absolutely love it. But I realize now that my dream is nothing if I can’t enjoy it with          the woman I fell in love with on this day, August 3rd, 6 years ago.  Life without you         is worthless.  I have to see you. I have to be with you. Sarah, you are my forever.  Please     take back the ring I so badly wanted you to keep.  Let’s try this again.  Meet me             tonight at Stoked, 7 P.M.

                                                                                                                        Love Always,

                                                                                                                              Carson

 

            The white paper was soaked.  Her body trembled.  She couldn’t breathe. This is all my fault. I left him; I thought it would be best to pursue our own lives.  I was so stupid.  He was right, my dream is nothing without him either. And now he’s gone.

            There was nothing else to see.  Sarah’s aching heart could take no more.  She stumbled back out on the front porch to see a familiar face pulling up in a U-Haul truck.  Carson’s father.  The look of utter shock didn’t leave his face when Sarah put her arms around him tightly, sobbing.

            “This is all. my fault. I’m. soo. sorry..”

            She was already in her car when Bill screamed: “Wait!”  Why did he have to go? WHY?  God I hate you! How could you do this?

            Sarah drove to the only spot she could ever find peace.  It was 7 P.M. and the sky was a fiery orange as the sun sunk over Sunset Cliff.  She would be with him again.

3 comments:

  1. Try making some of the section have shorter sentences to give a little more impact of the situation going on. Like "She still couldn’t believe it, believe that he was here and believe that he is gone." could be changed to "She still couldn't believe it. He was here. And now he was gone." Also, to give a little more context you can say how long they had talked or haven't if that's the case so the readers can know why he was so important to her.

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  2. Sorry I'm reading this now! The beginning was written really well, it was like i was actually reading a book. I was a little confused with the transition between the paper and then the obituary to the rest of the story. Each section was good, but the transition or sometime of break to make each section clear would make it easier to read

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  3. You did a great job with description. I like the addition obituary because it added structure diversity. I agree with Paris about the confusion with transitions; however, this was a good start.

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