The ground changes more than you and I
It can be painted with delicate dandelions and sightly sunflowers
Even with tons of towering trees
It can be veiled with sand or large lawns of grass
Or hidden by concrete
It supports us silently, so discrete
The ground can be drenched from the falling showers
Or masked with mud
The ground is wrecked and battered by human imprints
It’s unrecognizable and concealed by construction
But it can still grow those delicate dandelions and sightly sunflowers-
without mankind’s instruction
The ground
Oh the ground
It’s magical how it works
Honestly, I don't completely understand the poem but you did a good job in the alliterations and if I could recommend something, I would say "Or masked BY mud" instead of "with" because it flows better and use "with" in the line "the ground is wrecked and battered .."
ReplyDeleteIm in love with this poem. The sound really helps the flow and the tone of the poem. It still has a very powerful message behind it and you conveyed the message so consciously and its very controlled. I think you can take out the last line if you wanted. That might make it even stronger.
ReplyDeleteI never thought of the ground as anything more than the ground until I read this.. You have a very creative mind! Beautiful images and awesome metaphors and word choice. I'm also not sure about the last line, but overall- great! Wish I could write poetry like you!
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