Honor
to one who earns it –
one
who works hard and deserves it
never
give up,
but
think smarter,
never
omit,
mental
toolkit,
simply
the life of a knight
in
all forms of life
for
what we believe in.
We
come to the castle
where
it’s a climb up a hill
every
time, but that’s no obstacle
we're Knights.
Our
castles sit on our fingers
to
forever show where we came from,
acknowledge
our prestigious learning environment.
As Knights we strive to change the world
using
the tools taught by the kingdom’s educators.
What
more could a high school provide?
I like the central metaphor that you've used. I would say add a little more description about the school like what it looks like and the setting around the school to bring the reader in a little more. You have really nice sounds and the metaphors that help build the central metaphor. I think the word choice is matches the metaphors and the topic of the poem.
ReplyDeleteI like the center metaphor throughout the whole poem. I also get a sense that you are proud of your high school which is relatable too. I like the repetition of knights throughout the poem also. Good job!
ReplyDeleteRhymes are may favorite. I like the short and long lines but more images would make it a little more complete without the help of the school. this poem actually reminds me of the movie "Dead Poets Society" for some reason. I'm not exactly sure why but I like the metaphors as well.
ReplyDeleteThe rhymes in the beginning were useful in this poem. I think the use of your rhymes makes the first stanza stick out and therefore drawing the reading into the statement of honor to one who earns and the definition of that statement.
ReplyDeleteThat was your high school?! Cool, man! I definitely didn't realize you were talking about high school until you gave it away until the end. This is a great piece, really. Awesome metaphors. "castles sit on our fingers"- who thinks of that!?
ReplyDelete