“They Said”
They said Time heals everything.
They said people my age
should never experience this once,
let alone 4 times.
They said be understanding, God
wanted to take them for his own reason.
They Were Wrong.
Time never got easier,
It never got any easier with each
funeral seeing someone
the same age as you, lie
in a casket, it was something I shouldn’t have
seen til I was much much older, but by the time of 19.
I seen it 4 times.
3 DUI related car crashes, and one
his father shot him.
4 candle lightings, 4 different anniversary dates
1 simple neck tattoo
to keep my boys always with me,
They were wrong.
Time didn’t heal a thing.
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ReplyDeleteGood job with repetition and establishing the tone. I like how you linked each stanza but still created distinct pauses. The ending is really descriptive and I like the use of numbers. The single sentence stanzas are perfectly intensified and cycles back to the beginning of the poem.
ReplyDeleteThis piece is really nice. It clearly has had an effect on the speaker and I like that you don't directly sad I was or angry. I think you can take out the first they were wrong and maybe try playing with the wording of the second stanza. It seems a tiny bit awkward.
ReplyDeleteI can really feel what you feel through this piece. I think the last stanza is really the strongest and the best listed.
ReplyDeleteA little bit of playing around with structure could make this piece all the more powerful. So sorry for what you've had to go through, Ashley! That's rough, I couldn't imagine.. Beautiful piece.
ReplyDelete