n n n
The more I thought about it
the more fascinated I became with the idea of it. It was like I was at the top
of the school. Like a senior. My mother explained to me that this was a great
opportunity to set a positive example for the children in lower grades levels.
But I didn’t really care about of that.
I could picture it so clear…
Me…
Ruling over all the 5th,
4th, 3rd, 2nd, 1st…
Even the kindergarten and
Pre-K students.
I’d be like a Queen.
Royalty. The president. Powerful and in charge.
5th graders were
allowed to be apart of the SAFETY PATROL club too. But not like the 6th
graders. 6th graders were Lieutenants. 5th graders were
like mall cops, not really a big deal. They wore the musty orange safety belts.
Yuck!
The thought of that color just makes my stomach turn. It reminds me of my
Mom’s carrot and spice breakfast smoothie. Like…really… the worst… the absolute
WORST ginger rusty orange color you could imagine.
6th graders
safety belts had more style. Like me. The belts were a pretty fluorescent neon
yellow. Bold. They made a statement ya know. You know the bright yellow street
signs with man and lady crossing the street? They were like that. Students and
faculty could recognize you from the far end of the hallway.
And that’s not even the best
part…
The badges…
OMG!… The BADGES!!!
They were shiny silver like
a new quarter with the AAA logo. 5th graders got a small, tiny,
tiny, pin that just said safety patrol in dull letters. 5th graders
didn’t have badges. Only the 6th graders because we were older.
Cooler and just better.
Of course the teachers
didn’t say that, but I knew that was the reason.
n n n
Again, I like you're thought process because it is child- like but when you say "Yuck" you should put in brackets, italicize or put it in quotes to emphasize that that was what you were thinking in your head. I really like your short sentences too!
ReplyDeleteI like the the lists being short sentences. I like the "musty orange" description it something cute a little kid. The descriptions match your opinions about the thing being described. The description and the child voice are the strengths of this piece.
ReplyDeleteThe way it is written I assume that the child voice and the narrator are the same person.
I really have no criticism for the whole piece; I'm sorry! Your voice comes through very strongly in your writing. That childlike confidence, knowing you are "cooler" and "better" than the younger kids, is something we can all relate to. You also threw in one of your "phases" that we discussed in class, killing two birds with one stone! I, too, was (and still am) a spongebob fan :)
ReplyDelete